There are so many stereotypes in the world about introverts: they are quiet, mysterious, and they HATE socializing. Essentially for introverts, it takes a bit of time to open up to people and make friends. Introverts do, indeed, enjoy socializing and going out much like extroverts, contrary to common belief. However, the only difference is that although extroverts can still be surrounded by a group of individuals and be the focus of the attention of others, introverts do need time to recover and recharge alone and to gain energy. Though they want to go out, introverts also have a tough time putting themselves out there and engaging with new individuals.
But don’t confuse shyness with introversion. Introverts aren’t shy or socially anxious, they just prefer to reading, spending time with themselves, instead of partying and meeting people all the time. Introverts are observant, deep thinkers who limit their boundaries, but can be as fun with their close ones,
There is nothing wrong with introversion, but in broader social environments, this could lead to a feeling of distress and frustration. It does not have to, though. Here are a few tips to get you through certain moments of the “party” without getting unnecessarily overwhelming.
1. Before you head out, tune in
Before going into a big gathering, band, or household filled with people (even if they are families and friends), it can be good for introverts to take a bit of time to regroup.
Kahnweiler says that before heading inside, one must try sitting quietly in their cars for five to ten minutes in the driveway and just enjoy the benefits of some soothing music or in silence to build the peace of mind that is required for introverts to readjust. This will soothe a little of your anxiety and make your mood and mind calm so that you are not thinking about the crowd of people you will be meeting.
2. Plan some questions concerning small talk
All right, so you hate small talk. Well, most of us do not enjoy small talk at all. It is bothersome and unnecessary, but actually, not necessarily. Think of several opening questions before you meet new people, to understand them better. Things such as, what are you doing for a livelihood? What did you take in school? What have you chosen to study? Try to know what they like about their jobs. If they do not seem to like their school/work, how about, “What are you doing for joy?” These questions might actually help with conversations as it concerns them.
3. Let everyone know you
People, rather than just talking about themselves, need to get to know you. Think about a few things that you have been doing or things that you have heard that you can talk about. These can be about the books you have read, shows you have been binge-watching, a car you have repaired, or a project you are working on. This gives other individuals a peek into your life, and you will both see if you have any shared interests or beliefs in the process. If you do, on the subjects you both like, the discussion will take off. Finally, by knowing an equal amount about your conversation partner and sharing about yourself, you would like to balance your discussion.
4. Compliment someone
This is something that is very easy to start with and requires no mental preparation. You note that somebody has the cool Vans that you want to buy. Or a pullover that appears so fluffy that you can use it as a throw. They are easy conversation starters, said with sincere gratitude, which will make it sound good about who you are talking about. Then follow up with questions as to where they got them and whether there is something similar about you. Then you will have a story from your past about it.
5. Speak something instead of nothing
Do you ever note how the world’s extroverts tend to say something, and it goes well, as though there was never any doubt that it would? Usually, socially savvy individuals are not that self-conscious. They do not aspire to be an ideal person. They assume they will always be liked and welcomed, irrespective of what happens.
Begin with small and with people that you know a little bit about. Dare to say anything you think, make a joke, or share a storey first. It does not always go down smoothly, but that is all right. It does not need to. Develop the attitude that it is better than just not saying something at all to make mistakes. Try this out on new people when you are comfortable doing this with the people you meet.
6. Get a job that improves your social skills
Aim for a job that challenges your social limits. It is also where you socialise, even if it is work. Sounds frightening? It is, but you are going to learn quickly, you are going to be better at communicating with people over time, and you are going to become more secure. What are all the best jobs that can improve your skills in society? The waitress/waiter, bartender, sports coach, and teacher are other fantastic ones.
7. Hold on to your current friendships
Our friend groups begin to grow as we pass into our teens, twenties, and thirties. This may be because we are changing, or they are changing, or it is just a result of distance and not keeping the connection. If you have not always stayed in contact, but still love talking to your closest grade school mate, ensure you make a phone call a few times a month to say hello, send a humorous message, or share a video. Maintaining a long-term relationship is better than reviving a lapsed one.
8. Remember that it is normal to be introverted
It can be tempting to feel guilty for being an introvert in our extrovert-loving society. Do not. We are terrific listeners. We offer answers that are thoughtful and calculated. We are also the best leaders as, before we talk, we reflect and seek to understand our workforce. Get a look at Susan Cain’s book Quiet, The Strength of Introverts in a World that Cannot Stop Talking. It is a convincing look into why introverts are valuable to society, one-third of the world. (That was not an affiliate connection. Because we think it is great, hence we recommend the book.)