Tuesday, June 15, 2021

How Soon is Too Soon to Move In Together: Signs to Watch Out For

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If you are in love with someone, moving in together is an important part of the process. However, it isn’t as simple as just taking your stuff and moving into someone else’s place. If you are contemplating moving in with someone, it’ll be great if you can mull over these 10 signs before you take the big step. Let’s get started.

How soon is too soon to move in: 10 crucial signs

You’ve moved past the honeymoon phase

If there’s one phase of your relationship during which you shouldn’t move in, it’s the honeymoon phase. This is the oxytocin-powered stage of the relationship where couples see everything with rose-tinted eyes. There is a lot of great sex and the couple can hardly keep their hands off each other. However, this is the phase where both partners tend to be at their best behaviours around each other and hide a lot of their less than desirable attributes. At this stage of the relationship, everyone is the unrealistic, ideal and flawless version of themselves. You should consider moving in together only after you cross this stage of the relationship and start accepting each other’s shortcomings and flaws as well. You can only live together after you’ve done that.

You are fully committed to each other

Needless to say, moving in together isn’t for friends with benefits or people who are still in a casual relationship. Basically, if you are like this couple, moving in together is not for you:

The right time and stage move in together is when both of you have been vocal about your commitment toward each other. Exclusivity is important. “Polyamourous” people and people in “open” relationships should avoid moving in together (unless they can figure out a way to solve the complexities of their relationship dynamic). Being in a monogamous relationship is an important criterion for moving in together.

Your lives should be interlinked

If your life is interlinked with your partner, everyone who you interact with, will probably know that you are a couple. If you have met your partner’s friends, family and coworkers and also socialize with them regularly, it’s a good sign. Basically, if there is more ‘we’ in your relationship than ‘you and I’, you know you are ready to move in with that person.

You share a vision of the future

For a lot of couples, moving in together is an important stepping stone to getting married. When you and your partner share a vision for the future, it’s a surefire sign that you are prepared to start sharing a living space. You should be in agreement over important things such as marriage, kids etc.

Your finances are planned for living together

Moving in together isn’t just about seeing each other everyday and having sex as often as possible, it’s also about sharing important responsibilities in life.

One of the signs you are ready to take this plunge is that you and your partner have discussed and worked out a financial plan to support this arrangement. Your contributions towards important monthly bills and utilities should be properly mapped out and both of you should be on board with it before moving in.

You spend most of the days at each other’s place already

If you hardly spend any time in your respective houses and are usually together at one person’s place, you are very much ready to move in together. If you alternate between staying in each other’s houses, have closet space in each other’s apartment and feel a genuine need to be around each other, you should seriously consider moving in officially and sharing a home.

You are both ready for it

If only one of you wants to move in together and the other is only agreeing out of a sense of obligation, then moving in isn’t the right choice for you. Unless both the parties involved are ready for it, there will always be some resentment in the house, eventually turning the house into a toxic place to live in.

You have managed to successfully overcome a rough patch in your relationship

Getting over this phase of the relationship is almost as important as getting past the honeymoon phase. If you’ve been through a rough patch together, you know that you and your partner can work things out and aren’t just a fair-weather couple. After all, you will encounter more rough patches in life and you should be able to believe that you can overcome any such phase with your partner in the future. Most relationships tend to become stronger after the end of a rough patch.

You have similar lifestyle choices

Let’s be honest, it’s very unlikely that a person who loves smoking can live together with a non-smoker. Even having different sleeping cycles can spell doom for relationships. Conflicting lifestyles can lead to disenchanted, irritable partners, which is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. Try to ensure that your lifestyles are in sync. Or you are, at least, willing to make adjustments to accommodate for the differences.

Both of you are ready to make compromises

One of the most important aspects of any relationship (not just romantic), is the fact that in order for it to succeed, you will need to make compromises. The scope of compromising becomes even more vast when you live with someone though. You will need to make certain changes, adjustments, tweaks and compromises. No matter how similar you and your partner appear, you will have some distinct differences in your personalities. Unless you are willing to make compromises in the relationship without resenting your partner for it, you shouldn’t think about moving in together.

So if you ever wonder about moving in with someone, you will be better off if you could go through this checklist and see if you can tick most of them off. Moving in with someone you love is a wonderful thing and it can really enhance your lives, giving you more opportunities of loving each other. However, it must be done at the right time for the right reasons only (don’t just move in so that you can have more sex). This is one of your life’s biggest decisions, so put a lot of thought behind it before you take the plunge.

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